Perspective

I made pancakes for breakfast yesterday. I don't often fix a big breakfast anymore. My teenagers stumble out of their rooms like moles emerging from their tunnels; blinking and shading their eyes from the bright sunlight. With a few mumbled syllables they head for the t.v., the computer or the kitchen for some cereal.

I also made cupcakes, chocolate with mocha filling and fudgy icing. The cupcakes capped off a dinner of grilled london broil, homemade mashed potatoes, fresh green beans and collards.

I pour out my love for my family through food. I cook, I bake and I season with a lot of love. My oldest is particularly enjoying my love offerings. Being in college has made him very appreciative of a home cooked meal.

I am blessed with three terrific kids. Each one is unique, personable, intelligent, kind, and very loving. They have been raised to stand up for themselves, but to be empathetic to others. They look out for each other and they love me.

I am especially grateful for their strong, healthy selves today as my husband's nephew faces another challenge in his short span of 14 years. Sam has cancer, brain cancer.

As I type this note, he is halfway through a four hour operation to remove the second tumor found on his brain. The first one was removed in 2009.

Two years ago there was no warning that he was ill. A smack on the head with a hockey stick during a game brought him to the doctor for tests after he showed symptoms of a concussion. What they found was a huge tumor growing on his young brain.

A year that changed my brother-in-law and his family's life. Intense radiation, aggressive chemotherapy, continual doctor and hospital visits, and never ending fear and anxiety. They were always up and positive for the boy who showed everyone what courage looks like.

Sam took each step in stride, never doubting that he was going to lick this. Giving his parents hope when their own sometimes faltered.

A week ago, everything was "normal" again in their household. They were enjoying a visit from Grandma, getting big sister ready to leave for college. Hanging out and doing what we take for granted everyday- our ordinary days.

Now they are facing another battle- hoping for another chance to beat cancer, once and for all.

I am going to keep spoiling my kids with little treats, lots of hugs and plenty of love.

An ordinary day can change in an instant.

How Marriage Works

Musings: Day Two...

Friday Night Lights was not a show about football. It was a show about the power of relationships.

The relationship of a favorite teacher, coach or mentor and the impact that he or she can have on a young person's life. The powerful pull of peer pressure on a teen. How family support, or lack thereof, can impact a teenager. But most of all, what a solid, loving marriage can look like.

Over and over, the critics (including a mention on NPR this weekend), lauded the portrayal of marriage by Coach Eric Taylor and his wife, Tammy (Kyle Chandler,and Connie Britton) as, "The most realistic marriage on television."

For me it was the relationship I wished for, and did not have in any shape or form. Friday Night Lights began as my marriage was failing. I realized that what I thought was a partnership was in reality, a dictatorship.

I what I craved was Eric and Tammy's marriage, but hey, it's Hollywood, the land of make-believe. Watching their interactions, their arguments, and their playfulness on screen gave me hope that it is possible to forge such a relationship. To do so the two key elements must be present: deep love and a mutual respect for the other person.

We, as parents so often forget that our child's perceptions of how a relationship works is based on what they observed in their own parent's marriage. For those of us who have moved on to our second marriage's it's a chance to let our kids see how a good marriage works.

As I was watching the show with my son the other night I realized that Friday Night Lights has opened up dialogue with my teen-aged sons on a variety of difficult topics: teen drinking, sex, dating, friendships, loyalty, perseverance and what a good marriage is, and isn't.

Friday Night Lights reminded me that although our child's peers become more influential as they grow towards adulthood, we still have plenty of gifts to give our children. A model of a good marriage is one of the most important.