Time Machine

We went on a day trip to spend a little time with my folks yesterday. It was a chance for my oldest child to see his grandparents for the first time since Winter Break.

My parents were in the mood to share some terrific stories from the past. My Dad recalled the time he suffered a minor injury while on leave from the Navy. The story was fascinating, but what I found amazing was my Mother's disclosure of events that happened during the same time. She had never revealed her difficult time living with her in-laws to anyone.

Later we discovered a bin of photos my Mom had received from her Mother's photo albums. As I looked through the pictures I was transported back in time.

There were pictures of our little home in Maryland. When we had last talked about our old home, I realized that the images of the house were beginning to fade in my memory. I used to remember every detail, but like an old photo, the images were becoming faint.

As we talked about the photos, the neighborhood and the house became alive again. I was young again, living with my Mommy and Daddy in the house on the hill. I left that evening wrapped in those warm memories.

At home, as we settled down to our evening routines, my oldest curled up beside me on the sofa. He has not cuddled up to me since he entered high school. As I rubbed his back and shoulders, I was transported back in time once more. I was the Mommy offering love and comfort to my own baby.

The most amazing time machine is within our own precious memories.

Diary of an Ordinary Housewife

I love journals. I enjoy reading the diaries and letters of the famous and not so famous and I recently picked up a book called, "This Day, Diaries from American Women."

The book is the result of a project in which the author, Joni B. Cole asked women if each would write about one day in her life, or contribute a page from their own journals. The response was overwhelming. Over 500 women submitted entries. The book is a glimpse into the lives of many women from all walks of life.

I kept journals while my kids were young. Many days my writing was nothing more than a brief recall of the details of our day. But when I read over those entries, I am filled with bittersweet memories. Those days seemed so ordinary and mundane at the time, but now they are so very precious to me.

The author and her partners also asked each participant, "Whose day diary would you like to read?"

I want to read the diaries of my female ancestors. I would love to hear about their typical day fifty, or one hundred years ago. How did they spend their days? What were they thinking about, worrying over, celebrating?

So, now I'm going to ask you the same question. Whose diary would you like to read?

How Marriage Works

Musings: Day Two...

Friday Night Lights was not a show about football. It was a show about the power of relationships.

The relationship of a favorite teacher, coach or mentor and the impact that he or she can have on a young person's life. The powerful pull of peer pressure on a teen. How family support, or lack thereof, can impact a teenager. But most of all, what a solid, loving marriage can look like.

Over and over, the critics (including a mention on NPR this weekend), lauded the portrayal of marriage by Coach Eric Taylor and his wife, Tammy (Kyle Chandler,and Connie Britton) as, "The most realistic marriage on television."

For me it was the relationship I wished for, and did not have in any shape or form. Friday Night Lights began as my marriage was failing. I realized that what I thought was a partnership was in reality, a dictatorship.

I what I craved was Eric and Tammy's marriage, but hey, it's Hollywood, the land of make-believe. Watching their interactions, their arguments, and their playfulness on screen gave me hope that it is possible to forge such a relationship. To do so the two key elements must be present: deep love and a mutual respect for the other person.

We, as parents so often forget that our child's perceptions of how a relationship works is based on what they observed in their own parent's marriage. For those of us who have moved on to our second marriage's it's a chance to let our kids see how a good marriage works.

As I was watching the show with my son the other night I realized that Friday Night Lights has opened up dialogue with my teen-aged sons on a variety of difficult topics: teen drinking, sex, dating, friendships, loyalty, perseverance and what a good marriage is, and isn't.

Friday Night Lights reminded me that although our child's peers become more influential as they grow towards adulthood, we still have plenty of gifts to give our children. A model of a good marriage is one of the most important.