Strike the set...

Had a chance to go back to the old stomping grounds last evening as we returned our former workplace to listen to the premiere of one of my husband's musical compositions.

We were back a couple of months ago and it was something akin to performing an exorcism. We walked through the building just to defiantly challenge the ghosts of the past. The place was empty (except for a few tourists) and we did not see anyone we knew. I believed that the past was firmly behind me.

Last evening however, reminded me that the fallout still reverberates and the the tears in the fabric of our relationships with old friends and acquaintances will, in most cases, never be mended completely, if at all. There were many familiar faces from our past- from long before we were ever a couple to more recent friends we gathered while working there. Some were friendly, others gracious, but a few virtually ignored me.

The whole evening could have been ruined if I had not had four people (all more recent friends) treat me with grace and kindness, especially the older gentleman who once worked for me. He held my hand and asked how I was doing and asked after each of my kids. I felt the presence of grace in that moment.

I looked around and instead of thinking bitterly about all that had happened there, I remembered all of the good we brought to the place, all the positive changes, including championing the very event that we were sitting and enjoying last evening. We have much to be proud of.

I also realized that some people never take kindly to their perfect worlds being upset. They seem to buy into some fantasy that life is not messy or complicated. Perhaps, they have been blessed with true love the first time around. Maybe they have lived charmed lives, but for most of us who have made mistakes, and have started over again, we know that life is never that simple, nor that charmed.

I let go of another piece of my past last night. It seems to be a continuous process, but that is okay. It took me half a lifetime to build my former life, and it takes time to dismantle the walls, strike the set, and move on to the next stage of my life.
Some people will make the transition with us and others will fall away. My choice is to forgive those who cannot forgive us, and embrace all who continue to open their hearts towards us.