The Transformation

The Transformation – You conquer the fears that tried to kill your spirit in the Abyss. You have revelations about who you are and what you want out of life. You make peace with who you were when you were younger and less enlightened. You shed your old skin and emerge from your tests as a stronger, wiser, more fulfilled version of you with a renewed sense of purpose.~from The Hero's Journey

I've emerged from the dark abyss. I've slain a few dragons, and faced more than a few fears. I'm ready to leave this valley and begin another journey towards the summit.

I connect with new people and develop new friendships. I return to my first career, teaching. It's been 16 years since I stepped foot in a classroom. This time I am the sage, and I pay it forward in homage to all the veteran teachers who mentored me years ago.

I am determined not to let work be the hub of my wheel. I want more: more fun with my husband and kids, more time for self reflection and meditation, more ways to exercise and most of all- more time to write.

Journaling is good for self-reflection, but a little voice urged me to share my musings with others. I initially balked at the thought of a blog. I was never comfortable sharing my deep feelings with others.

"In Transition" was aptly named as a stronger, wiser me is slowly emerging, but I've learned a valuable lesson. Life is always in a state of transition.

The Threshold

The Threshold (guardians, helpers, mentor) – You reach the jumping-off point, but you come across guardians, who seek to block your path. You must overcome these threshold guardians. You will often find helpers and a mentor to help you do this. These new friends are kindred spirits for your journey.~ From "The Hero's Journey"

The threshold is a scary place to be. When I was a kid, my brother convinced me to jump off the high dive at our local pool. I remember climbing the stairs with false confidence, refusing to look down until I reached the top.

What a heady feeling. Looking up I thought I could almost touch the clouds, but looking down at the tiny square of water I was scared. Despite my fear, I walked to the edge of the board, took a deep breath, and jumped. The only barrier between the deep water and me was the sultry summer air.

When I reached my jumping off point in life, the guardian blocking my path was my husband. He found ways to sabotage my success. When I started graduate school he wondered if it was a good use of my time. When I was offered a lucrative position, he was not pleased. In fact he did not want me to take the job.

Thankfully there were mentors who helped me understand that he was blocking my path. The kindred spirits came in the form of close friends and books that illuminated the path.
Authors like Joan Anderson who wrote the beautiful book, A Year by the Sea.

She was a kindred spirit who had been on a similar journey and was kind enough to share her story. Joan Anderson and others gave me the courage to trust my instincts and jump off that threshold into the sultry summer air.

Turn and Face the Change

"Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you're going to get old
going to get a little older,
Time may change me,
But I can't trace time...


I woke up with those lyrics from the David Bowie song Changes, running through my head. Today is Change, part 2.

My oldest is home for three weeks. He attends college 630 miles away in Cincinnati, Ohio.
We had a rare evening alone, and sat around our dinner table talking for over an hour. Those of you with teenagers/young adults know that an hour is a long time to engage him in one-on-one conversation.

We both admitted that we are looking forward to, and at the same time, dreading the upcoming year. I've always thought of September,(and now August), as the New Year. From the time I was a kid, the start of a new school year was a time to take stock, set goals, and begin again.

This "New Year-School Year" we will all reach some major milestones. My oldest begins his senior, and last year of college. My second born will be a senior in high school and my baby will complete her last year of middle school. And me? I turn the big 5-0.

Oh, I am dreading the start of the school year. Once we jump on that train it's going to travel like a bullet, building momentum as we speed through the next nine

months until we reach these milestones.

One more year of my oldest coming home for holidays and home cooking, one more year of my second born greeting me with his big hugs and sweet smile, one more year of pretending my baby is not really a true teenager.

Getting older is not as scary as realizing that I will soon have to let another one of my chicks leave the nest to college and watch the oldest fly away for good- into the real world.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...

Dreams

I had a hard time falling asleep last night. I tossed and turned for quite some time before deciding to give up and read. My mind was churning with so many things, if only I could set my brain on "sleep mode" like I do my computer.

Early this morning I fell into a very deep sleep and had one of those dreams that seem to last for hours. I won't bore you with the details, but the overriding theme seemed to be "hello and goodbye."

This made perfect sense to me; the day had been filled with news of changes coming to the lives of family and friends.

At the end of the dream I turned around at the sound of my name, and my good friend Tammy was walking towards me. She was moving back to her hometown in Ohio. As we embraced she whispered in my ear, "you can do anything you set your mind to."

Dreams are funny that way; often just entertaining us during sleep like a mindless t.v. show, and then suddenly, a real message tucked between all that nonsense.

Tammy gave me the words I most needed to hear yesterday; there's still time to re-invent myself yet again. That's what transition is all about.