Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Lessons from Middle School

My daughter and I often recount the important happenings of our respective days on the long ride home from school every afternoon.

Today she told me about a boy sitting at a half empty lunch table. She and a couple of her eighth grade friends sat down at the same table. They've done this a few times since the beginning of the year. Their PE class is a large mix of sixth, seventh, and eighth graders and they often spill over to adjoining tables at lunch.

Today, two sixth graders stood with their trays in the crowded cafeteria looking for a place to sit. My daughter, noticing no other tables were available, waved them over.

As the two sat down, the a seventh grade boy spoke up. "This is the table reserved for piano students."
My daughter politely pointed out that the rest of their assigned tables were full, and this table was the only one with available seats.

"So what?  Sixth graders aren't allowed to sit here."

My daughter told the two confused students to take a seat.

"No, " the boy repeated. Addressing the sixth graders directly he told them, "I am a seventh grader  and I'm older than you, so you two have to listen to what I say. You are not going to sit here because you are sixth grade nerds."

My daughter looked the young man in the eye and retorted, "I'm an eighth grader and older than you, so you'd better listen up. They are allowed to sit here because they need a place to eat. And don't forget, you were once a nerdy sixth grader yourself. Now leave them alone."

The boy did not utter another word the rest of the lunch period.

I am so proud of the way my daughter stood up for her classmates. She handled it with as much grace and confidence as one could hope for in a teenaged girl her age.


It was also the perfect opportunity to point out how tolerance is learned. We stand up for our peers, regardless of their age, their race, their sex, or religion. We defend those who have no voice.  In this case, the lowest rung in the middle school ladder, sixth grade.

In a world where intolerance has become all too common, I am filled with the hope that my children will continue to choose tolerance and kindness.

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