Grace under Pressure

We often talk about how much we admire certain people who seem to respond to the pressures that life hands them with such grace.

We are all "tested" everyday in the big events and the small irritations that come from living on this planet. It seems that some people carry incredible loads and still live a full life.

My father-in-law, was just such a person. Sherwood was my husband's step father and my mother-in-law's third husband. She had been through a lot of heartache in her own adult life. She didn't know what it is like to be loved so completely, until she met Sherwood.

Sherwood had his own heartaches. He had a rocky relationship with his family and he had personal struggles that left him a changed man, but he had finally found someone who gave him love and a place to call home.

Sherwood and my mother-in- law, Agnes, married seventeen years ago. He adored her and she loved his laughter and the way he made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, even when she was "not put together."

Sherwood gained the family he had always craved. He became Grandaddy to six grandchildren who loved him as only grandkids can. Every holiday, every birthday, was celebrated within the family circle and he was right there in the middle of it all, cooking large amounts of food, and playing games with the kids.

Roughly ten years ago, Sherwood began to notice things were changing for him and his health began to suffer. He had trouble holding things in his hands and his feet were often numb. After years of exhaustive tests and hospital stays, drug treatments, and consultations, the doctors realized Sherwood was suffering from the effects of being exposed to Agent Orange, He had served two tours of Vietnam on board a ship for the Navy.

Sherwood's true test was learning to live within the shackles of this illness. He was often frustrated that he could no longer go shopping or bbq on his grill, or in the end, even leave his bed, but he remained a true southern gentleman to the end.

His love and concern for his wife was first and foremost. His love for the adult children who had not had their own father around for much of their lives was genuine and tender. And the love he had for his grandchildren was undeniable.

I became part of the family a couple of years ago. It is a difficult transition for any family when someone divorces after many years and brings a new spouse into the picture. Sherwood was the one who opened his arms and his heart first. Part of it was his gracious nature and a larger part was that he too, had been welcomed years before as the new person in the family.

I know that even in the short time we got to spend together, he liked me for exactly who I was. He recognized a kindred soul, someone who loved the ones he loved most.

Sherwood fought the good fight and died peacefully, at home surrounded by those he loved. He touched everyone he met, from nurses, to doctor's, to the friends and family who stayed by his side. His life was heroic, not just for his military service, but by the way he chose to live each day as if it mattered, and to treat each person with dignity and love.

Rest in Peace....