The Challenges

The Challenges – You stumble on your new path. You get lost as you try to rewrite your life or adjust to your new circumstances. Your challenges often reflect your greatest weakness. They cause you to thinking about scurrying back to the old you.~ from The Hero's Journey

Well I stumbled and I got lost more times than I can count as I muddled through the many changes in my life.

I got divorced. For all my false bravado and even with the deep conviction that it was the right choice to make, it was heart wrenching and gut wrenching. To admit to failure, that this relationship was just too far gone, went against my grain.

Being divorced was tough, being shunned by the community that could only accept us as a couple was much more difficult. A year later I lost my job, and suddenly I was invisible. I had fallen into a dark crevasse and there seemed to be no way out.

I struggled for a while, and shouted out for help until my throat was raw. Then I gave up and accepted that this was where I was supposed to be for a while. So I sat in the darkness and listened with my heart and soul.

Listening took the form of furious journal writing. I faced my demons, I admitted my weaknesses, and most of all, I forgave myself for my failures. Light slowly illuminated the path out of the dark crevasse and I stood again on solid ground.

My voice had become stronger. I was ready for the next step of my transition. This stage would require a great deal of courage and an even greater leap of faith.

The Call

The Call – you feel that your current life is not enough. You feel restless, dissatisfied. A crisis or series of crises may crop up, forcing you to reexamine your priorities and life path.

~ from "The Hero's Journey

The call came when I was in my late thirties. I was a stay-at-home mom for a number of years following a ten year career as a teacher. I had loved my job-both the students and the teachers. The plan was to take one year off to stay home with my new baby and four year old. One year stretched into six as my then husband was transferred to a new location every two years.

I loved raising my children, and my days were full. I had cleaned and painted every room, created a scrapbook for each child. My linen closet was color coded, and the garden flourished.

But it wasn't enough. My brain spun around in circles. I had so much mental energy that needed an outlet. I was lonely in each new city. My husband was married to his work, and my best friends were the cashiers and bag boys at the local supermarket.

So I began to write. Writing was a way to record the soul scream that welled up within me. I bought a journal and poured out all of the feelings and musings; the frustrations and loneliness.

For the next few years my journals were my only refuge from the pain of loneliness and isolation I had begun to feel within in marriage. That soul scream grew louder until it leapt off the page and forced me to act.