Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones can break my bones,

but words can never harm me.

When I was young, my mother or a teacher would recite this rhyme when my feelings were hurt by someone's thoughtless words. As an adult, I know better- words hurt as much as a deep cut.

One can cause physical distress, but words cut deeper into your very soul. I'm often incredulous when the person who unleashed their nasty diatribe against me says, "but I didn't really mean it."

As a child, we are all occasionally subject to mean comments or in extreme cases, bullying. We are told that the attacker didn't really understand the hurt he or she caused, or we were told to ignore them. But, what about adults who should know better? What about the ones, especially those who claim to love us, who cut us down with words? 

I know that some people experiencing deep pain themselves lash out at their loved ones. It's often because they feel powerless, if life is dealing them a poor hand. The anger, pain and frustration spills over and they vent to someone close.  I understand the psychological explanations, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

In an age of instant communication words now carry more weight. They are forever encased in the amber of cyberspace; saved in an email or text  message. I have been the recipient of a few of those knee jerk responses, and though later deleted, the words are forever burned in my brain.

The delete button is a wonderful thing. So is a journal, or a simple piece of paper and a pen. By all means get it all out. Tell that jerk exactly what you think and then delete it, close the book, or burn that piece of paper. Let it out, and then let it go.

Perhaps by then you will be calmer andwill be able to gain a bit of perspective. You may still need to talk about your feelings with the person who upset or angered you, but maybe you can do it without all the hurtful words that could potentially damage the other person.

"Your careless words flung out without thought

create tiny papercuts on my soul."