Wednesday, August 10, 2011

True Blue

It was my first day back to school and as I looked around the room I was feeling pretty confident.

What a sharp contrast from last year. Seventeen of us survived the first year. We are the minority in a sea of new faces. We are recognized as the warriors; survivors of Year One.

During the our orientation, we were given a "personality test" called Your True Colors. The purpose was to help us not only identify our dominant personality traits, but to use it as another tool to understand our colleagues, administrators and our students.

I am a "Blue" which means that I am highly intuitive and empathetic. I have a strong desire to influence others so they lead more significant lives. I am adept at motivating and interacting with others.

I am "true blue," but I am also highly organized, goal oriented and like to plan ahead. That's Gold, my complementary color. Gold's are also very caring, but tend to keep their emotions in check. Hmmm...

When I began teaching long ago, I was well organized first and caring second. I often hid the deep emotional impact that working with my students had on me.

Many lived in poverty and were often suffering from some form of neglect. My Blue self felt each child's pain, but my Gold self hid those feelings behind a mask of self sufficiency. Sometimes, despite all our efforts, we could not save the child from her circumstances.

I continued to work with these high need students until the day I realized that I was overwhelmed. I was worn out emotionally, and my own infant son was getting a burned out frazzle of a Mommy. I made the decision to take a break.

Sixteen years later I am back on the job, working with similar children. I teach in a poverty stricken area, but the parents try hard to provide their kids with what they need. Some of our students need more than the three R's.

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They need a "Blue" to encourage them, to inspire them. They need someone to care about them. It's why I teach in this place.

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