This is the Day...

Today is the day and I am nervous as hell.

One week ago I had a lovely getting to know you lunch with the new director of the Episcopal Cathedral. We hit it off immediately. Talking to her was like finding the one English speaking person in a small Italian village. We definitely "spoke" the same language.

Following lunch, she requested another meeting to meet more of the staff, and her boss, the Dean. Today at 2pm I will be meeting everyone and I am filled with butterflies. Oh, I am not worried about making a good impression. After last week I know that my resume and my unique skill set are a perfect match for this job.

No, it's not the interview process that has me fighting anxiety attacks, it's the battle scars I've received over the course of the last two years of failed encounters. I have come close to four different jobs and each time, something happens and I am left licking the wounds of my battered self esteem.

The rejections have been hard because each time I got so close; the last time I was actually offered the job, accepted, and then the offer was withdrawn. Each rejection hurts- a lot.

What I hope and pray for today is not the job, but that I receive the strength and the fortitude to accept the outcome, whatever it may be. If it results in a job, then I will be shouting from the rooftops, but if for some reason it does not work out, then I ask for the strength to handle another rejection.

I pray that my faith in myself will not to be shattered once again. And for the ability to understand and accept that just because they may not find me suitable for the job, it is not an indication of my value as a person.

That's what I am praying for today...